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Styles Of Handling Conflict

Avoiding: Lower Assertion, Lower Cooperation

AvoiderOtherI have to go, I can get back to you about this issueOk, when can we plan on connecting about thes again?I'm not sure, I'll let you know thoughlow assertionlow cooperationAvoiderOther

Handling conflict with the "accommodating" style can look like a few things:

  • deferring decisions to the other's decisions
  • POSITIVE when stakes are low, and as a way of reducing conflict tensions
  • PROBLEMATIC when this is a "fallback" style, and you might really have a preference. Your preference will likelybe missed, and you may develop a bit of a "martyr complex", putting indirect stress on a relationship

Accommodating: Lower Assertion, Higher Cooperation

AccommodaterOtherI'm up for whatever you want to doSounds good, I'll let you knowGreat, I look forward to hearing from youlow assertionhigh cooperationAccommodaterOther

Handling conflict with the "accommodating" style can look like a few things:

  • deferring decisions to the other's decisions
  • POSITIVE when stakes are low, and as a way of reducing conflict tensions
  • PROBLEMATIC when this is a "fallback" style, and you might really have a preference. Your preference will likelybe missed, and you may develop a bit of a "martyr complex", putting indirect stress on a relationship

Compromising: Moderate Assertion, Moderate Cooperation

CompromiserOtherLet's figure out how we both get something out of thisThat sounds fairmoderate assertionmoderate cooperationCompromiserOther

Handling conflict with the "compromising" style can look like a few things:

  • figuring out how both parties involved can "come to terms" with both parties "loosing out" on something. An idealized outcome for both parties is not met here
  • POSITIVE when a fair, equal, and non-ideal outcome might be the best outcome
  • PROBLEMATIC when there might be "deeper" desires at hand

Competing: High Assertion, Low Cooperation

CompromiserOtherHere's where I'm at - let me know when you can join.okhigh assertionlow cooperationCompromiserOther

Handling conflict with the "competing" style can look like a few things:

  • POSITIVE
  • PROBLEMATIC $$

References

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode is the major influence of the conflict styles. I personally learned a bit about the 5 conflict styles through an online certification from Cornell.

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